Meet Greg Rychlik
Q: It’s so hard to believe that five years have passed. Take us back to that time. What was going on?
A: In the summer of 2019, Melanie’s dad passed away. We traveled to Albuquerque for his Celebration of Life and moved her mom to Austin to live near us in a house purchased for them just after he was diagnosed with cancer.
Looking back, we planned to move from Albuquerque to Austin in one day, which was not a good decision. Melanie was anxious to return home and see our dogs after being away for several months while caring for her dad. Her dad’s death had been a traumatic experience, as New Mexico hospice care placed his primary hospice care on the family, and she and her sister had administered care for her father until the end. The experience drained her both physically and emotionally.
We’d loaded her mom’s belongings in a U-Haul following the Celebration of Life and left for Austin at 5:30 that morning (me driving the U-Haul while Melanie and her mom followed in her mom’s car). We were getting close to Lubbock, our lunch stop.
Melanie and her mom were following me when suddenly their car veered off the road, went into oncoming traffic, went off the road on the other side, and hit an elevated railroad track flipping the vehicle multiple times.
I was one of the first on the scene, along with several other cars that had stopped. The car was on its side, so we couldn’t get her or her mom out until firefighters arrived, which took about 15 minutes to get there.
Melanie was unconscious for most of that, but when they got her from the car and loaded into the ambulance, she seemed okay outside of a significant gash on her head and a severe ankle injury. She didn’t remember anything so she asked me what had happened.
The ambulance took her and her mom to the ER at a Lubbock hospital, and when I got there, they told me I needed to wait in the lobby until they could get them assessed and checked in. It took a couple of hours before I was allowed to go back. Still, during that time, they told me that Melanie had a seizure (we now know that the stroke ended up taking her life), so they had intubated her and would take her to surgery for her ankle. After surgery, she never came out of anesthesia.
She was placed in ICU (on a ventilator), and they continued running tests without answers. She was determined to have had a massive stroke after a CT scan and an MRI for further evaluation. You have four major blood vessels in your neck. The back two that went to her brain is where the stroke came from, most likely from the car flipping multiple times. After speaking with numerous neurologists nationwide, I’ve learned this is common in rollover accidents.
People can be fine at the crash scene, but a few hours later, the stroke will happen, and when it occurs and sends the clot to the brain, it’s fatal.
About three days after the accident, we discovered Melanie was still with us even though it didn’t seem like it. After running a few tests one morning, one of the doctors noticed that she responded to one of her commands by blinking. The doctors diagnosed her with “Locked-In” Syndrome, which they said was horrible. She could hear and see everything but could not move, speak, or respond to us. Her only communication was blinking her eyes to acknowledge questions or commands.
Q: You guys were young. Had you ever thought about what you would do in a situation like that?
A: The weird irony is that Melanie and I had multiple discussions about this type of event happening and discussed what she would want in the event of this type of tragedy. When you have these discussions, you never think they will ever happen, but I’m thankful for those discussions. We all face defining decisions during our lifetime, but knowing Melanie’s wishes made it possible.
Q: Most of us cannot imagine what it must have been like to lose someone so close and at such a young age. What was that like?
A: I had lost loved ones before (grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, and even close friends), but losing Melanie was like nothing I had ever experienced. I think the suddenness of it all was probably the worst. I know others who had lost spouses, but they had time to discuss, work through all that meant, and say goodbye to each other on their terms. I didn’t get that. My life turned upside down and I assumed I would slowly get better.
I’d believed Melanie’s Celebration of Life would provide some closure, but it didn’t work that way. Grief took hold shortly after that, and I spent 3–6 months trying to figure things out. And I think a lot of that was caused by how quickly my life changed. Your life is great one day, and it looks completely different the next.
I had a fantastic support group and a lot to work through. Why did this happen, what is my purpose, and how do I move forward? Grief is a sledgehammer, and though it’s a different experience for everyone, it’s a journey that has made me a better person.
Q: What do you feel are your great takeaways from living through this event?
A: I’ve learned that you can’t take tomorrow for granted. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. It certainly doesn’t mean I live recklessly, but my thought process on life, my purpose here, and how I approach my finances have changed. Before, I focused on planning and saving for my future. I still do that today, but at the same time, I enjoy things now versus waiting on a day that might not come. Plus, I now realize I can’t take my money with me, and God doesn’t care how much I have accumulated.
It’s more about balancing enjoying my life today and ensuring I have enough for the future. I don’t have kids to pass on my wealth, but Melanie’s Foundation and my church are both areas I am passionate about, and I plan to leave whatever is left.
This life approach aligns with Grace Lane’s idea of Return on Life versus Return on Investment. We get to the heart of your story and build a financial plan that helps you live it out to the fullest.
Melanie and I discussed a quote from Steve Jobs that resonated with us both before all this occurred. It’s a quote I read at her Celebration of Life and one I return to regularly.
“No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be because death is very likely the single best invention of life. It’s life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now, the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away.
Sorry to be dramatic; it’s pretty accurate. Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the result of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your inner voice. And most importantly, dare to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”
Life is not a rehearsal; we only get one shot at it. We all should ensure that we have no REGRETS. Make sure the people you love know it, live a life of fulfillment (professionally and personally), and enjoy each day, as nobody knows what tomorrow will bring.